


Time In A Bottle

by orphan_account



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Grantaire is stupidly overprotective, M/M, and irritatingly self-indulgent, daddy!Enjolras, daddy!Grantaire, do not read, of course Enjolras would name his daughter 'Marianne', stupid, stupidly saccharine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-17
Updated: 2013-04-17
Packaged: 2017-12-08 17:54:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/764265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And anyway, <i>Grantaire</i> was being the responsible one, was the only person in that room acting like a <i>parent</i>.  Because when there's some idiot teenager sitting on your living room sofa waiting to take your only daughter on a date you don't <i>coddle</i> him and offer him water and make small talk.  No, you strike the fear of God into him because so help you if he does anything to hurt her intentionally or otherwise you'll - </p>
<p>Well, maybe you're not sure what it is you'll do if that happens but you've got Bahorel on speed dial and he's always liked Marianne better than Eric anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time In A Bottle

Grantaire glowered at the kitchen clock.  Six-fifteen.  Half an hour since Enjolras, Judas that he was, had forced him into the kitchen with a hushed reprimand.

"If you're not going to behave," he chided, "Then you can wait here until they leave.  For Christ's _sake_ , you're acting like a damn child."

Grantaire's expression soured at the memory and he gave a little mocking shake of his head in retaliation.  Really, for Enjolras to call him a child - the man who was never above the silent treatment when he didn't get his way, who existed on a diet of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and coffee with so much milk and sugar it was a wonder he hadn't already entered a diabetic coma, the man who had _honest to god pouted_ at Grantaire just that morning when Grantaire tugged the blanket off of him and forced him to get out of bed because "Damn it, Enjolras, it's already noon and we have to go to the store, _get UP_."

Honestly, the nerve.

And anyway, _Grantaire_ was being the responsible one, was the only person in that room acting like a _parent_.  Because when there's some idiot teenager sitting on your living room sofa waiting to take your only daughter on a date you don't _coddle_ him and offer him water and make small talk.  No, you strike the fear of God into him because so help you if he does anything to hurt her intentionally or otherwise you'll -

Well, maybe you're not sure what it is you'll do if that happens but you've got Bahorel on speed dial and he's always liked Marianne better than Eric anyway.

Six-sixteen.  _They were supposed to leave at six, really, how much longer were they_ -

Their voices grew louder, traveling down the narrow hallway to the front door.  His calves itched, ready to spring from his chair and launch himself at Enjolras as soon as they were gone.  He listened for the goodbyes, heard the click of the door shutting behind them and then Enjolras, after taking a moment to collect himself, stalking back into the kitchen.

Grantaire met him at the door, " _First_ of all - "

Enjolras cut him off with a wave of the hand that even after all these years had the power to command all those present to sit down, shut up, and listen.  The only difference being that now instead of arguing, Grantaire heeded him and fell quiet.

"Look, she's excited about this, can you just - "

"And I'm excited for her," Grantaire interjected, "Of _course_ I am, I want her to be happy.  But I also want to build a tower - a very _tall_ tower - where no boy can ever lay eyes on her let alone take her out for pizza and debauchery.  She can have her laptop and all her books and Lady and that stupid Neopets site until she goes to college, preferably at Bryn Mawr - or maybe Mount Holyoke!"

Enjolras sighed, "She's not twelve any more, Grantaire, she doesn't play Neopets and _so help me_ she's going to Columbia."

"Columbia is good," Grantaire conceeded, all at once enthusiastic, "Columbia is close, it's just uptown.  You know, she can even live at home so that way we don't need to pay for housing!"

Enjolras groaned ran a hand over his face, "She's gone on dates before, you've never complained then."

"Yes, but this time it's different and you know it."

"Why, because it's someone she actually _likes_ , not some jerk who kept asking until she said yes?  Someone who likes and respects her in turn?"

" _Exactly_."

"You're an idiot."

"Look, all I'm saying is - "

" _Grantaire_ ," he growled, his voice grave and impatient, "She is out of her mind happy about this.  You will respect that.  You will cut this petulant, overprotective crap out, and you will not threaten Eric the next time he comes here.  You will be civil if you can't manage polite and you will give him and Marianne their space, are we on the same page?"

Grantaire choked out a noise somewhere between a groan and a whine, " _Enjolras_ \- "

Taking pity on him Enjolras wrapped his arms tightly around Grantaire, "Stop it now, this has been a long time coming.  You knew this was going to happen someday."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it," Grantaire murmured into his shoulder.

Enjolras gently ran his hands along Grantaire's back.  "You know, most parents would be happy," he consoled, "They've been friends since they were little, they like each other a lot.  We could have it worse."

Grantaire half-sobbed, half-grunted in reply.

"And anyway, it's just a first date, Cosette is with them, it'll be fine."

"For now maybe.  What if they break up, what then?  He's her best friend.  She'll be _devastated_."

Enjolras couldn't help but roll his eyes, "They're _not_ going to break up."

"Ever?" Grantaire pulled away, challenging him, "She's fifteen, and you don't think they're going to break up?  They'll get married out of college and settle down in Hoboken and - what - that's it?  Have their two-point-five kids and settle into middle age?"

"Well it worked for you and me."  Grantaire gave him a flat look.  Sighing he nodded, "If they break up they break up.  It doesn't necessarily mean the end of their friendship and it's _certainly_ not going to be the end of the world.  But I'm not so sure they will."

Grantaire looked at him with horror.  He shruged, "They're smart kids, and they make each other happy.  What more do you want?"

Grantaire collected himself and straightened a little bit, "I'll remind you of that after they're married and you're related to Pontmercy."

Enjolras blanched and Grantaire swept from the room, smirking.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading this I'll assume you've gotten through the drivel above and I am _so_ sorry for putting you through that. This was a stupid idea that wouldn't go away. Title is borrowed from Jim Croce.


End file.
